Grown Ups , Keep It Clean for the Kids
The beginning of season is always an exciting time. The anticipation of playing, the hints of sunshine, and the swirl of energy that seems to follow the team whenever they're together. Everyone's in good spirits and compliant, eagerly awaiting the first day of games. All is well at the beginning which is why it's imperative and expectations for players AND parents should be clearly communicated at this time. It's easy to overlook the other side of the fence when we first get our teams back together. That side of the fence, where the bleachers are, is a critical piece to our success as an team. Unfortunately there is a dark side to coaching kids, but rarely does it come from the players. There has been an increasing concern about bad parent behavior that's oozing into youth sports and tearing away at the real reason we're all here; to help kids. One of the main factors coaches and umpires report leave the game is the parents. From screaming at officials, to badgering the coach, its become common to hear at least one belligerent Mom or Dad yelling about something. More often than not, it's a handful, not the majority that behave in a way that dishonors the game and all who are involved. Sometimes the handful can grow larger if mob mentality sets in. Youth sports at any level, club or recreational should be a safe haven for everyone to enjoy. The innocent ambience that should be ever-present at the field is being threatened by the grown ups. Lay down your guidelines and ask for parents to police each other. Coaches you have enough to worry about, it's okay to ask for help. Creating a positive and respectful environment early in the season will help alleviate bigger issues in July. Coaches, here's a list of parent guidelines for your reference. Feel free to use it as a resource when designing your team rules/expectations and remember, parents are a part of the team. Here's to a successful and healthy 2018 season.
1. Be a fan, not a heckler. Although it seems common place to shout whatever you want at a professional sporting event; youth sports are NOT the same venue. You are a part of the organization just as much as your child. How you act and speak is a direct reflection of everyone involved. Keep umpire gripes to a minimum, and cheer for your kids, not against the others. Umpires are going to miss calls, let the coach handle it. They don’t need your assistance. Remember that everyone involved (including umpires) are out there because they love the game.
2. Do NOT coach your kid from the stands. One of the top reasons kids quit sports is because of pressure imposed by parents. If you can’t stand not coaching, then go coach your own team. This includes yelling cues from the stands, talking to them from behind the dugout, on deck, etc. Just watch and enjoy your kids handle success and failure on their own. It will benefit them immensely in the long run.
3. Playing club sports means your child is interested in competing, not just participating. This means that the best 9 will be put on the field. If your child is concerned about playing time, consider having her ask the coach this magic question: “What can I do to earn more playing time?”
First and foremost, this means more coming from the athlete rather than the parent. After all, we won’t be going on job interviews with our kids so this is a great way for them to practice having direct conversations with adults and getting the feedback they need to reach a goal.
4. Do NOT bash other parents/players on your team. We are all in this together. It’s not Sally’s fault your kid’s not playing. The teams with a happy healthy culture on the field, tend to have a happy, healthy culture amongst parents in the stands.
5. Do NOT blame outside factors for your child's poor performance. Children look to us as an example. If we make excuses for their shortcomings on the ride home, they will surely play the victim later on in life. Life isn’t fair so don’t teach them the blame game. Instead, teach them to take responsibility for their actions and responses to adversity.
6. Coaches will be making mistakes as often as your child does. Please remember they too, are working to do the best they can. The best way to handle any concerns is directly, discretely, and respectfully. Be patient and thankful coach stepped up to take on the great responsibility of mentoring children through the avenue of sports.
7. No matter how competitive you are, control your actions/response to your child's performance. The most important thing they need to hear after a good or bad game is,
“It was so much fun watching you play.”
Let them talk instead of giving them your recap. It’s good for kids to reflect on the game, adjustments they can make moving forward, and find closure to a tough day on the field.
8. Use common sense. This may be the most important guideline to follow. Treat people with respect and kindness, set the example, and enjoy watching your kids grow up while playing the sport they love.
Comments